Mom's God Wink

My mom is the full time caregiver for my dad who suffers from severe dementia.  Mom keeps the atmosphere around the house happy—singing, taking dad for a swim each morning, praying, sharing meals, and going to church at least once a week.  Dad moves at a snail’s pace, sometimes doesn’t recognize my mom, and rarely speaks.  My active mother does her best at keeping a positive attitude, but she’s not perfect.  Sometimes she gets cross with dad and scolds him when he won’t get in the shower, wanders around the house at night, or walks out the front door in the middle of the night.  I rarely hear her complain; but at times, she does, and no one would fault her for it.

Recently, following several weeks of Dad not sleeping through the night, mom got into her bed and hoped this would be a night free of interruptions.  As usual, she left the nightlight on in the attached bathroom and the light on in the hallway with the bedroom door open.  In case dad got up, she didn’t want him to fall. 

She noticed something unusual as she pulled the sheets back—the top sheet was white.  Normally, her sheets were navy blue and sure enough, the fitted sheet and pillowcase were navy blue.  She wasn’t sure how a white top sheet got on her bed.  Had the maid done it?  But, she didn’t own any white sheets and she had specifically told her maid not to change the sheets on her bed. 

Mom, tired and baffled, lifted the sheet up to the light to make sure her eyes weren’t deceiving her.  Sure enough, she could see the light through the bright white sheet.  As she closed her eyes to go to sleep, she prayed that she wasn’t going blind!

In the morning, she woke up and realized the top sheet was navy blue.  Knowing her experience was real, she wondered if somehow it was a message from God.  She prayed, “God, what does this mean?”

Immediately, the Holy Spirit spoke to her.  “Bonnie, this is how I see you.   You are covered in righteousness and purity. I don’t see the times you are cross with John.  I don’t see the times you get short with him or wish things were different. I see a beautiful, righteous woman who is filled with pure love.  You are doing my work and it’s beautiful to me.”

As my mom shared this story with me, we both cried.  I had to withhold myself, because I was at work when she told me. 

She finished her story by reminding me of the verse in Is. 1:18, "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.”

This is how God sees my mother.  If you know Jesus, this is how He sees you too.

Praise You In The Storm

My boys and I were on a mission—spend the afternoon at the beach. My nineteen-year-old beach-loving son was home for a brief visit. I was determined to take him to our favorite local spot. My thirteen-year-old son was good-to-go. My sixteen-year-old daughter looked outside and decided to stay home. Did I mention it was raining?

The forecast for the entire week was rain.  In the midst of the dismal predictions, this particular afternoon forecast was better: a 30% chance of rain. That meant there was a 70% chance for sun! 

So off we went . . . in the pouring rain.

Cue the lightning. 

And the roaring thunder.

It seemed ridiculous to be driving to the oceanfront wearing our bathing suits and beach clothes--our car packed with towels, sunblock & a drink cooler--in the midst of a thunderstorm.

I decided it was a good time for a Bible lesson.  “Boys, this is what faith looks like.  You believe it’s going to be sunny.  But it’s raining.  The facts say 70% chance of sun, but you only see rain.  But, as Christians, we don’t go by what we see.* The Bible says we walk by faith and not by sight.  We’re going to believe that when we get to the beach, it’s going to stop raining.”  And I might have even quoted Heb. 11:1, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

The boys nodded in agreement and expressed no concerns.  (What? I thought to myself,  No eye-rolling? No grumbling? No teasing me for giving them a Bible lecture? What?!) Instead, they broke open the snacks and cranked up some beach tunes.  I silently pleaded with God,  “Ok, Lord. You have to stop this rain!  I just told my boys what faith is . . . you have to come through!  Help!”

As we neared the beach, it’s as if the storm cloud was following us.  I increased my windshield wipers to high speed. Looking at the ominous horizon, I felt like Richard Dreyfuss in What About Bob. (The scene where he looks out the window at the pouring rain . . . desperate for Bob Wiley to finally leave and walk home. LOVE that movie!)  But the rain continued despite my inward pleading with God.

By the time we entered the beach parking lot, there was only light drizzle.  But the attendant shook her head as we approached, “Everyone’s just been informed to leave the beach.  There’s lighting & thunder.”

I pulled in and parked anyway.  I announced with confidence, “Boys, we’re going to sit here and wait for the storm to pass.  It will.” To my delight and shock, the boys agreed. 

As we sat and watched the storm, my faith began to grow.  I was reminded of the words to the Casting Crown song, “Praise You in This Storm.”

I was sure by now

God You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away**

So, as I listened to the thunder and watched the magnificent storm clouds roll by, I silently praised God—for his creative genius (let’s face it, storms can be beautiful, jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring sights to behold!), for an afternoon off of work, for some quality times with my boys, for teenagers who chose not to complain, etc.

An hour later, we got out of the car and found a perfect spot on an empty beach.  The sky cleared and we enjoyed a wonderful time together.  Before we left, I took a walk along the waters edge, giving thanks to my faithful God who’d reminded me of a few things that day:

•   The storms in our life are brief.  They will pass. 
•  Praise God no matter what the situation looks like.
•  Take a closer look.  There is beauty in storms.
•  Faith pleases God.  Your faith makes God happy!

I’m pretty sure God was smiling & laughing at my forty minute drive in the pouring rain to visit one of His beaches.

*2 Cor. 5:7

**"Praise You In This Storm" was written by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

The Comparison Trap

I’ll never forget attending my first pastor’s wives retreat.  It was one of the most miserable weekends of my life. I went with our lead pastor’s wife, who was shy in new situations.  As a twenty-something youth pastor’s wife, I couldn’t wait to meet some other ladies and glean from their experiences. 

Sadly, no one talked to us or made any eye contact.  I realized I shouldn’t wait for someone to talk to us.  I needed to start the conversation.  So, at dinner, at breaks, etc., I tried to meet some ladies.  Let me emphasize—tried.  And failed miserably.  I even tried to steer the conversation toward getting us an invite on a group-shopping excursion. No luck. That was the most intimidating and unfriendly group of women I’ve ever come across!

Since then, I’ve gone overboard to try and be friendly.  I can instantly spot a new person and my heart goes out to them—the uncertainty in their body language; the looking around for direction while trying not to attract attention.  I make every attempt to connect with that person. My goal: engage them in conversation, uncover a little of their story, and connect them with someone like them.  Hopefully, they will lose that “awkward” feeling and move toward the “I belong” feeling.  I think I’m a very friendly pastor’s wife. 

But, there are other areas of ministry where I don’t feel so confident.  I can speak to new people, but I’m not that funny.  I know other pastor’s wives who attract people like a magnet because they’re so fun to be around.  I can teach, but I’m not exactly a Bobbie Houston or Kay Warren. I can plan events, but they’re not too impressive.  I know other pastor’s wives whose conferences and events attract thousands of women. I can . . . well, the list could go on and on.  In the end, comparing myself to other pastor’s wives is a dangerous trap and I’ve learned not to go there.

Pastors’ wives can come in all personality types—funny, warm, introverted, analytical, engaging, dramatic, serious, etc.  They can have various talents—singing, playing an instrument, teaching, writing, helping, administrating, serving, speaking, organizing, leading, etc.  We are all ages, all races, all shapes and sizes.  Back in my Dad’s day he wanted to marry a beautiful woman who could play the piano, sing, teach Sunday school, and entertain.  He got ALL that and more in my Mom.  Thankfully, my husband was not looking for all that, or he would NOT have picked me!

God has handpicked you to complement your husband in ministry.  You are a team, and together your gifts go hand-in-hand to accomplish the Kingdom work that God has assigned both of you.  Everything about you is exactly right! That doesn’t mean we don’t seek to improve ourselves to become more like Christ.  It means we will learn to appreciate the way God intentionally designed us for the life He’s called us to live. 

I love how The Message puts it:

“Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.” (Galatians 5:25-26)

The Day Marriage -As We Know It- Almost Died

The Supreme Court didn't attempt to define marriage today . . . but that day is coming. 

For the record, here's how the Son of God defines marriage:

In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus responds to a question about divorce:

He (Jesus) answered, "Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female?  And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh - no longer two bodies but one.  Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart."

If people don't believe in the Bible, then I totally understand why they don't understand where Evangelical Christians stand on this issue. I don't expect them to agree with me.  But think about this, once we leave our Christian heritage for good, who gets to define right and wrong?  If you don’t use the Bible as your measuring stick, what do you use? 

My life is built on the Bible, the word of God. That is my standard of truth. The Bible is my worldview.  Everything I believe must pass through the lens of my Biblical worldview. Period.

In 2013, Americans enjoy freedom of speech and religion.  That doesn’t mean my words and my beliefs are popular. In fact, they’re quickly becoming the opposite. No matter how unpopular my Biblical beliefs become, I will continue to stand for the Biblical definition of marriage. There may come a day when pastors are penalized and even put in jail for not agreeing to marry gay couples. That will not stop our family from preaching the truths found in the word of God. 

Why are so many churches embracing the homosexual lifestyle, even allowing homosexual pastors in their pulpits?  I think it depends on that church's or that denomination’s interpretation of the Bible.  Some people take the whole Bible as literal truth, some people take it metaphorically, some take what they like and throw out the rest, (just look up “Biblical hermeneutics” to see all the ways to interpret scripture!) etc.  I’ve always been a cover-to-cover girl.  I believe the Old & New Testament.  If something is a sin in the Old Testament & it’s still called sin in the New Testament, then it’s wrong.  Not just wrong for a specific time in history, but wrong for all time. 

Do I hate people who are living a gay lifestyle?  Heavens no!  Are they welcome in my church?  You better believe it!  If we didn't allow people with issues into our church, no one would be there!  We've all got issues! Homosexuality is just one of the sins in the Bible, just as gossip, lying, stirring up dissension, taking bribes, violence, adultery, stealing, drinking too much, etc. is wrong.  Do I hate people who gossip?  Or people who lie? No!  But, hypothetically speaking, I’m not going to suddenly say it’s ok to gossip and to lie just because it’s the politically correct thing to do . . .

Do I sympathize with people who are attracted to the same sex?  Absolutely.  As believers, each one of us is a sinner saved by grace.  Even after salvation, we struggle with temptations of the flesh.  This is why we so desperately need a Savior.  He boldly asks us to “Take up our cross and follow Him.”  It won’t always be easy, and there will be a cost to following Jesus.  This is why we need to be born again.  We willingly die to the flesh. We ask the Spirit to take over—and over time, as we walk with Him, He sanctifies us and makes us more like Christ. 

I could add a bunch of links to Bible verses that support my beliefs.  But if you really want to know the truth, you will Google them for yourself and read them in context with the chapter before & after (it's dangerous to take a scripture out of context). If you want to continue to agree with popular thinking, you won’t take the time.  

I didn't write this blog to change your mind, which is probably already made up on this issue.

I guess I just wanted to draw a line in the sand today and say, I stand on the side of marriage between a man and a woman.

Don't Build a Building. Build the Kingdom.

This morning I spoke with one of Time Magazine’s “100 Most Influential people for 2013”.

Pastor Wilfred De Jesus (a.k.a. Pastor “Choco” short for chocolate, his boyhood nickname) struck me as a man who matches the description found in Nehemiah 7:2, “. . . he was a faithful man who feared God more than most.”  In the Bible, these words describe Hanani, the governor of Jerusalem appointed by Nehemiah.  In many ways, Pastor Choco is God’s appointed man for the city of Chicago.

When Pastor Choco found out that my husband and I were pastors, he asked me several questions about our ministry.  During our conversation, I made some interesting discoveries about his church in Chicago, New Life Covenant.

After becoming lead pastor of the 120-member church he’d attended since he was a teenager, the church experienced a new wave of growth.  They quickly outgrew their original building.  NLC moved their Sunday services to a high school for the next 10 years.  He told me, “We weren’t in a hurry to build a building.  We knew that would take all our money. Instead, for the first 10 years we bought foreclosed properties around Chicago to do kingdom work.” 

Some of NLC’s “kingdom work” included a homeless shelter, an outreach to drug addicts and prostitutes, and a Chicago Dream Center, just to mention a few.

But God had other plans for NLC beyond renting the high school.  In 2012, the school kicked the church out for the summer. With 4,000 members their options weren’t just limited; they literally had nowhere to go!

Pastor Choco said the Lord told him something unexpected. NLC was to meet on Sundays under a tent. It sounded crazy.  No word from God beyond that.  Just "meet under a tent."

So, ALL summer--in heat, in humidity, thunderstorms, and the infamous wind of Chicago—NLC continued their 5 services under a tent.  He said matter-of-factly, "Some people left."  He shrugged, “People like convenience.”

Somehow in God’s mysterious way, the time in the tent led to their miracle. Soon after their tent meetings started, God showed the leadership a piece of land to buy. The church was able to secure 100% financing (“even in this crazy recession,” he added), and fifty days later they broke ground.

Rewind. How did the church find out about the land?  After a tent service, Pastor Choco invited the people to go on a walk.  The people didn’t know what he was up to, but they followed him several blocks until he stopped. Pastor Choco stepped up on a mini stage* and shared the big secret—they were standing on their new land where NLC would build a church.

The groundbreaking ceremony was truly unique. The people wrote scriptures on hundreds of rocks gathered from the original property.  Each church member threw one of the rocks into the new foundation. Finally, Pastor Choco put a Bible and a bottle of olive oil into a beautiful box** and buried the treasures directly under where the pulpit would be.  He said, “This church is built upon the Word of God.”

Pastor Choco says his church is also based on the story of Stephen, the martyr stoned for his faith—“if you stand up for God, He will stand up for you.” He learned this at an early age.  At 14 he accepted Christ as his savior. In his rough Chicago neighborhood, gang members constantly approached him asking, “Hey, what you be about?”  They meant, “Who do you represent? What gang are you with?” 

Choco would answer, “I represent Jesus Christ. Who you be about?”

Pastor Wilfredo “Choco” de Jesus is truly a “faithful man who fears God more than most.”  After meeting him, there’s no doubt his influence on Chicago, the church, government, and social justice stems from his passionate and unswerving faith in Jesus Christ. 

Young "Choco"

*Pastor Choco tells his church, "This is where we will build."

**Pastor Choco buries a Bible under the future pulpit area

One of 5 Sunday services in the high school

A couple interesting tidbits that didn't exactly fit in the blog:

1)  After his interview, I commented to Rico, one of his pastors who was traveling with him, “That must have taken lots of courage-- at 14, to stand up to gangsters and tell them, ‘I represent Jesus.’” 

He said, “Ya, I witnessed lots of those times.”
“You’ve known him that long?  You two go back that far?”

He nodded, “Thirty-one years.”

I thought that spoke volumes of his leadership, that a friend from his teenage years is still arm-in-arm with him in ministry.

2)  Before Pastor Choco sat down for his 700 Club interview I asked him, “Do you know the mayor of Chicago?” 

He said, “Ya. He was at my church 3 Weds. nights ago.” 

Friends, there’s hope for Chicago!