A Visit to the Hospital & My 25th Wedding Anniversary

This morning Matt and I visited a very sick friend, Ray Bell, in the hospital.  His wife Linda is a dear friend of mine, and I want so desperately for her to have more time with him on this earth. I've rarely witnessed two people more perfect for each other. Ray & Linda fell in love the first time they met and are still in love today.  

Last night Ray had a vision of Jesus.  The Lord told him to come on home. He saw Linda’s mom and dad (both deceased) standing behind Jesus, waiting for him with happy faces.  At 6 am this morning, Ray told Linda that he was done fighting, and he was ready to go home. She thought he was talking about their house, but after he shared his vision of Jesus with her, she knew what he meant by "home." He wanted her to call all his loved ones and say his last goodbyes. We felt very privileged to be on his “loved ones” list and to pray with him and his family, perhaps for the last time.  Only Jesus knows.

Being in ministry, we’ve met with several people over the years that are hovering between this life and the next.  When you walk away from those precious encounters, you can’t help but evaluate your life.  The Bible says our life is “a mist, a vapor”.  This life is so temporary.  Am I living for what really matters?  Am I taking people in my life for granted?

One strange thing about life—while one person is in the midst of a painful trial another person might be in a time of celebration.  That is the case with us. It’s our 25^th wedding anniversary on Monday, and we are going to celebrate BIG tonight—our usual date night is going to another level! We’re eating at one of our favorite restaurants that we hit every 10 years—Ruth Chris Steakhouse.  After that, we’re going to see a movie.  We love going to the movies.  I told Matt—no flowers and no card necessary.  I just want to have fun with you. 

You see, when I'm with Matt, I'm in my happy place. I'm home.  I've told him before, the best thing about being married is that whenever change comes, we go through it together.  If we move, you're still here. If the kids leave, you're still here.  If we lost our jobs, we'd still have each other. 

I’m so very grateful for the years we’ve had together.  I don’t want to take my husband for granted.  He’s my best friend, my love, my pastor, and my biggest supporter.  Even this morning, he gave me another reason to love him.  Before the crack of dawn, our dog got sick all over the stairs, and he let me stay in bed while he got up and cleaned the carpet.  Then, he went ahead and steam-cleaned all the stairs. Now that’s a good man.

He’s also a wonderful father to our 3 children. I also realized this morning that I don’t want to miss out on one moment with my children.  They are my joy and delight. Now that my oldest son is grown and gone, I’ve become acutely aware of how quickly this “raising kids” stage of life goes by.  Oh, how fast it goes by . . .

Relationships are the only thing in life that matter, because they are the only things from this life that we take into eternity. 

But the most important relationship on this side of Heaven is our relationship with Jesus.  He is waiting with open arms for Ray. How wonderful that Jesus appeared to Ray, reassuring both he and Linda that it was ok to let go. The presence of Jesus is the ultimate home. One day He will welcome me home too.

Oh, I want to see Him, look upon His face,

There to sing forever of His saving grace;

On the streets of glory let me lift my voice,

Cares all past, home at last, ever to rejoice. *

*“Oh, I Want to See Him” by R.H. Cornelius (1916)

An Early Lesson in Vision

Early in our marriage, God opened the door for my husband to be the youth pastor at his grandfather’s church. His father also happened to be the associate pastor. Three generations of Stewarts pastoring together—what a unique church we were!

However, I was against the idea from day one. I won’t go into all the reasons why I thought this was a bad idea, but the list was long! Nevertheless, I played the part of the submissive wife and pretended to care about the youth in the church.

About 6 months into our youth ministry there, I was sitting in the back of the room during a Wednesday night youth service. Matt was preaching while I was telling God, in my mind, all the reasons why we should not be working there. I began to tell him all the problems with the youth group and why we were the wrong people to lead this group of students. I counted around 25 youth there that night and that depressed me too. I missed the large youth group we pastored when we lived in San Diego. “Why are we so small, Lord?” He was listening.

Right at that moment the Lord spoke to me and said, “This youth group is small because of YOU.” Immediately I knew what he meant—my lack of faith, my negativity, my complaining spirit—I was the problem!!

That night I repented and asked the Lord to give me a heart for these students. Soon after that, we took almost 40 young people to Magic Mountain, an amusement park in Southern California. One night in the hotel conference room, we experienced an unexpected, supernatural move of God. Students began to weep, confess sins, prophecy—that night would launch a consistent move of God. Our youth group began to grow and grow. Many of those young people are in full time ministry today.

Is your lack of vision harming your ministry? Is your negativity and complaining spirit putting a wet blanket on the Holy Spirit’s plans for your church? Repent and allow the Lord to fill you with a supernatural love for the people the Lord has assigned you to serve. He can do it!

God-Sized Vision

This weekend, my husband and I are going to visit Joel Osteen’s* church in Houston, Texas. Joel’s father started Lakewood church 50 yrs. ago with 90 people and now they meet in a 16,000-seat arena and their television ministry reaches 200 million households. I know of other churches that are 50 years old, but their churches feel more like a museum. It makes me wonder, where will our church be in 50 years? Will it be thriving or dying a slow death? I believe the difference is vision.

Creflo Dollar*, another pastor of a mega church with a television ministry that reaches 1 billion people worldwide, recently shared his future vision to one of our producers at the 700 Club. She interviewed Creflo in the greenroom for a web exclusive, and, as guest producer, I happened to be in the room during the filming. In her final question, she asked him “What would you most likely want to accomplish with the remainder of your life?” I perked up—this man has a loving wife of 28 years, children, grandchildren; he’s written scads of books, speaks at huge conferences worldwide, pastors a multi-site church; he certainly doesn’t lack for any material possession--what would he say? He instantly replied, “ I want to win the whole world to Jesus . . . I want to get the gospel to everybody.” Now that’s vision!

Is your vision clear? Is it God-sized? Are you communicating it effectively to your people? Or, do you want out of your situation so badly that you are drowning out God’s voice with complaints? Are you so miserable that you are refusing to even hear the vision God wants to give you? I’ve been there! I used to have a picture on the wall that said, “Bloom where you’re planted”—a bit cheesy, but true! (that darn picture would always convict me!)

Accept where God has you and begin to cry out to God for vision. If you’re serious, seek the Lord fervently, diligently, wholeheartedly. Wrestle with God if you have to, because you must have vision to do what He’s called you to do! He wants to give you and your husband a vision that is so BIG it is IMPOSSIBLE to accomplish without his help.

*I know everyone has an opinion on tv evangelists and mega-church pastors, and based on what we've seen that is understandable. I have personally met both of these men (for the record, they were very kind, real, and humble), and I've read their teachings. Joel has a God-given message of hope for the unchurched and Creflo has a message of honoring God's Word and finding abundant life (wholeness in every area, NOT only money). I think they are doing a great work to build the kingdom of God, and I'd be very careful to judge them unless you've walked in their shoes.